വീട്ടിൽ കൗമാരക്കാരൻ.
ഏതു നിമിഷവും പൊട്ടിത്തെറിക്കാവുന്ന
ബോംബ് കൈകാര്യം ചെയ്യുക
അതിലും എളുപ്പം.
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Question 1: You should understand his pains of adolescence
Dear Sangeetha S Kumar, Dear Sangeetha S Kumar, Truly said. It is truly a painful transitional and transformations phase. One really gets confused, bewitched, diverted, deviated, defocused, etc. due to lots of internal and external factors pressures in this phase of adolescence. Adolescence is the real juncture, where in the direction and destiny of one is getting sketched.
It will be no problem if freedom is not at all given to our children. Making them slaves of our belief system. Mostly, most of the children are brought up as slaves, at least in relation to the belief system. In the case of such children, no such problems will be there too. Such children mostly will forget to respond and revolt at all. They won’t what their real needs are. Their needs will the needs of their parents and belief system they happened to be compulsorily in. And if at all, any of such children happen to respond and respond, it will be a volcanic response and revolt.
Giving freedom and getting control of adolescence is very tough an affair. Because, though they ask for more freedom in this phase, adolescence s such doesn’t know and realise what the freedom is and why they are controlled? Hence most of them get into be trapped and harmed or damaged.
Aspect of control comes in only if you give freedom. If the license is given only, the aspect of control comes in. People, living in prison do not need any control. Because they are already the world of control.
Giving freedom and controlling them will be very tough.
Then you may ask why to control?
True. No need to control.
But no need to control whom?
Those who have gained maturity and are responsible. Not the adolescents.
No need to control those who take the responsibility. Responsibility means one’s ability to respond.
In the age of adolescence, they happen to respond only to their own feelings, pressures and aspects of adolescence only. Not to the wants and requires of the surroundings. They happen, for their fault or for their no fault, to disregard all others.
Hence, adolescent children are otherwise and other way round.
They want freedom and to fly like in the sky. In the meantime they will be irresponsible and would try even to cut the thread and connection with the finger that hold the thread.
They, in this phase of their life, mostly don't realise that it is the same thread and the finger behind and below that has caused them to be in the skies. Especially Boys.
In this phase children behave like monkey. Doing what ever they feel like and showing a kind of stubbornness.
Especially if they happen to be in group, they may do anything and everything. Like the dust in the window, they go in and with the group.
Alone they will be cowards. In the group they will be the most courageous and exploding type.
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Question 2: നിങ്ങളും ഒരിക്കൽ ഒരു കൗമാരക്കാരനായിരുന്നു എന്നു ഓർക്കണം അപ്പോഴൊന്നും നമ്മൾ ബോംബായി ആർക്കും നമ്മുടെ മാതാപിതാക്കൾക്ക് പ്രത്യേകിച്ചും അനുഭവപ്പെട്ടിട്ടുണ്ടാകും എന്ന് ഞാൻ കരുതുന്നില്ല. ഈ കാലഘട്ടത്തിലും രണ്ട് ആൺകുട്ടികളുടെ അമ്മയായ എനിക്ക് അങ്ങനെ അനുഭവപ്പെട്ടിട്ടില്ല തന്നെ .എത്രയായാലും നമ്മുടെ മക്കളല്ലേ?
Dear Pushakala and Sangeetha. Well said by both of you and Hafis. Thank you for all your concerns. No doubt.
I did not say or state anything as a blame or as part of a blame game. Especially the children, I was trying to discuss, how and why they become exploding in this phase of human life and how difficult it is to handle them in this phase of their life, balancing. For reasons. But unknown to the children at this point of life/time.
(As for Hafis, anything Raheem says will be wrong and to be outright negated. For whatever reason, it is and it has become like that. That is mostly because of his islamic belief system, for its intolerant and extreme part. And because Raheem happens to expose it here and there and he could not successfully oppose whatever Raheem happens to say.
So, Hafis has made up his mind already. Whatever that comes from Raheem should be and has to be depicted as wrong, hence negated. Raheem should be (like for many others too) personally attacked than with ideology or on subject. Because, as for them and him, Raheem is an anti-islam. Don’t mind whether Raheem is talking truth and real and selfless spirituality of real God and truth. Friendship and life is less important and, for them, it comes only after the protection of belief system they happened to be in. And that is what Hafis is proving through out to be too. But, despite all the above, Hafis is one of my best friends ever. His playfulness and sportfulness is really to appreciated.)
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Dear Hafis, Chandran, Sangeetha and Pushkala. I did not say or state anything as a blame or as part of a blame game against adolescents. I don’t have anything to gain or propagate that way. Rather I was stating the fact. Something every one can understand. Something every one has to watch and beware of.
Dear Friends, as a matter of fact, till adolescence, our children had only one window to look at the world. The window of their parents. They saw the world their parents showed them. The walked and tried to walk on the footings of their parents and society they lived in. They shared each and everything with their parents. Their beliefs were the beliefs of the parents. They made sure that they are and were with their parents in every respect. They did not know what the meaning of“man” and “woman” is. They could not know what the gender difference is for.
With adolescence they get hundreds of windows opened together. They almost stop sharing everything with their parents and almost close window of parents. Certain parents may not be aware of this. They look through all windows, except the window of the parents in this phase of life. Almost they close that particular window. They happen to have certain things and areas that they cannot share with their parents, but only the friends. Their friends and fancies become their Gods, than parents. They want to keep certain things as private and secret. They get to be in fight with their hormonal changes and changes that hormones make in them. They get courage and confidence only when they are in the group of their friends.
It is not their blame. And it is not intentional. But it happens as if it is intentional in this phase of their life. Most of the parents are unable to adapt with the situation the children undergo in this phase. Either they deny or they ignore these features of the children of this particular phase.
Adolescence is the phase of life, wherein children has really to work hard to shape their future. This is the junction, from where life is directed to its destination. Here is the preparation for the future takes place. Whichever children can really work hard in this phase of their life, for sure they make their material life almost successful. But most of the children are unable, and in this phase they become their own enemy. They happen to sit against themselves. Unless there is external compulsion and control, which mostly don’t like too. So, they are under pressure. Pressure from inside and outside. They have all the pressures and tendency to go wayward after the feels and pressures of hormonal changes they face in this phase.
Hence, adolescent really become and happen to be exploding. Sometimes silently and sometimes openly. They may develop a kind of depression in this stage. One who can observe can really understand this. Most of the children somehow adapt and adjust. Some really fail by themselves or by those who are supposed to take care of them. Mostly, because of helplessness and no other choice.
I did not write this because I have any problems or fight with my own children. But I can see and feel this in all the children all around. Whether we don’t see or ignore it is different matter and matter of choice or blindness only.
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