Dear Sangeetha S Kumar,
Truly said.
Adolescence.
A painful, but wonderful too,
Transitional and transformational phase.
The phase that which
Brings in all the wonders and magic
With all the new air and water
It causes to flow in.
To see these all happening together,
Children really get confused, bewitched,
Diverted, deviated, defocused, etc.
Lots of internal and external factors
And pressures in this particular phase
Get the children unanchored and unsettled.
Hence, children in this phase of adolescence
Will be made to play hide and seek
Just to cope with it or to evade from it.
For nothing else,
But for their own inability
To adapt and adjust
To and with
Their own internal changes
That needs to be translated
Into their external behaviours
And to and with
The external pressures,
That mostly embarrasses them
As to how to translate them
Into their internal acceptance.
Some cats come out of the sack
And some cats really get into the sack.
The sack of adolescence.
******
Adolescence is the real juncture,
And a junction too,
Wherein and wherefrom
The process of one’s real move
To the real direction and destiny is
Initiated and happening.
The real sketching of their real future.
******
It won’t be a big problem,
For those parents,
Who are not at all aware,
Who did not give freedom
And who did not believe
In giving freedom
To their children at all.
Without freedom
There doesn’t arise
The question of cat’s
Coming in or out.
And there doesn’t arise
The question of
Opting and electing.
Such parents, without knowing so,
Might already have spoilt
Their children’s childhood,
If it is me too.
Well and good for them.
Children will continue to live on.
Survival is for sure a process,
Whichever way it will happen.
*******
Mostly children become
For such parents their slaves.
The real victims.
Though nature and life may want
From parents different a role.
Children are the future and for the future.
Parents are the past and from the past.
Past is known, future is unknown.
Past may have stench and worm
With and within it.
Future will bring in
The air of perfume and light of beauty.
The known ugliness cannot
Rule over the the unknown beauty.
Hence past cannot sway over the future
And suffocate it not to happen spontaneously.
Past transforming and translating itself
Through the present
Has to become the future, their children
Life’s rule is such that
Past have to be like a slave to the future.
Past need to do and give in present
Whatever the future needs
From its store and treasure.
Past could be the mother or father,
Called parents.
But the same past has to live
In the present, as the present, only for
Their children called future.
Hence, parents cannot to be
But the slaves, stores and treasures
Of and for their children.
They need to work and give
Day and night
Anything and everything
For the welfare and wellbeing
Of their real masters,
The kings, the children.
For children and for their sound sleep
Parents will have to wait sleepless,
Awake to groom and grow
In them the branch and body of future,
To enable it bear the flowers and fruits.
*******
Hence, lost of real childhood,
Their children too might have
Become or reached
A level or a position
Wherein they do not or cannot know
What their adolescence too is
And how to face it, react to it and resist it.
Without showing any special emotions,
They will become numb,
In this beautiful phase of their life.
Such children rather get to be robotic
For the family and society
They happened to be in.
Certain features of their adolescence,
They don’t, won’t and cannot recognise at all.
********
Still, somehow, by the grace of Nature,
By the grace of great dance of life,
As the life support its own
Life flow and growth,
They too, by chance,
Get to be able to adjust and adapt.
Though some may really fail
Without themselves or any other
Knowing they were failing
And it was their failure at all.
*******
Making their children to be
Slaves their or their prevailing belief system,
Mostly, most of the children are
Brought up slaves,
At least in relation to their belief system.
For such children,
No problems or question
Will arise too.
Slaves will feel as if they are free.
Slaves become much happier
The way they are,
Than in freedom.
Because, freedom will bring in
The burden of responsibility
Which they are and will be
Really afraid of.
They don’t know how to respond at all.
So are the blind believers
In the big brute majority
Than the real seekers.
For the real seeking and freedom
Brings in with it
Its other side, the insecurity.
********
Such children will mostly forget
To respond and revolt at all.
They will behave like tools or instrument
For the family and society they live in.
Fixed for all in one place.
Educated and trained only to be
A working and earning tool.
Living for working and working for living.
As if trapped in a big vicious circle.
The circle that causes repetition.
The circle that gives
The feel of repetition.
*******
They won’t know
What their real needs are.
Nor their parents too will.
Their needs will be the needs of their parents
And the belief system they happened
To be compulsorily in.
And if at all, any of such children happens
To respond, and if they really respond,
Such responses will, for sure, be
A volcanic response or revolt.
*****
Giving freedom is equal to
Making one to be responsible.
It is a kind of empowering.
Freedom without responsibility is
Dangerous and poisonous an affair.
That is why, how, where and to whom
The freedom is to be given
In adolescence and for adolescents
Becomes really an important question.
******
Most of the adolescent children
Would want to be free.
Anywhere any time.
But with no responsibility.
Responsibility, as for them
Should lie with parents.
Or they won’t care responsibility at all
Especially in this particular phase.
But, they would want eagerly
To exert the freedom to the extent
That they would go against themselves
And against the same parents.
Like the kites going against
The thread and finger
That caused them to reach and conquer
The heights of the sky they are in.
******
Hence, getting control of adolescence is
Very tough an affair.
They would ask,
In every given chance,
For more and more.
And this “more and more”
Has and will have no end.
Adolescents don’t and wont mind
The repercussions.
The pros and cons are
Not their cup of team.
As such adolescents don’t know
And won’t realise
What the freedom is
And why they have to be free
Hence, controlled too?
********
This is the phase
Where the precious diamonds given
By their parents or teachers
Will become only the stones
And the mere mere stones given
By their friends become
The real diamonds.
*******
Most of them get into the trap of
Crave for more freedom.
Only to be trapped, harmed
And damaged for ever.
They are, in relation to freedom, like
Those who ride on tigers.
For sure, at first,
Smiles and laughs will be
On the face of the riders.
Happy.
Later, and at the end,
The real emphatic laugh and smile will be
Of the tigers, on the face of tigers.
Really happy.
No need to ask why.
Tigers know, for sure,
Its take for the day’s full stomach is
On its back safe.
That is what will happen to adolescents
When they move forward in their life
Leaving behind their adolescence.
Life will just behave like the tiger,
The same tiger.
******
Hence, the question and aspect of control
Comes in only if you give freedom
To these same adolescent children.
Especially on the question of
Riding on tigers’s back.
******
Once the license is given,
And they really ride on,
The aspect of control ad question
Also will come in.
Those who are free
Also are questionable.
As to the consequences and repercussions
Of each and every action they make
Using that freedom.
*******
People, living in prison do not need control.
They are not and have not to be responsible.
Hence not answerable too.
They are even otherwise in control only
Like the slaves are.
Only in the world of control.
Only those who control them
Are responsible.
******
Giving freedom and then controlling
Will be very tough.
But it is a need.
So is the whole system ours.
******
Either do not give freedom at all,
Or do give it fully free.
That is the easiest way
So that one does not need to make
Any further follow up effort at all.
But what we will get then.
The end result of great anarchy
With monkey like behaving adolescents.
The control measure for those given freedom
Is their responsibility.
Freedom has to give them
Or freedom has to nurture in them
The ability to respond.
And this ability to respond is
What responsibility is.
Responsibility towards
Whatever that happens
Due their exertion of the freedom
Given to them.
Towards its pros and cons.
Hence, they will and have to learn
Where to exert their freedom
And where to abstain from exerting
The same freedom
With their prior and preset knowledge
And ability to respond.
********
Then one may ask why to control at all?
True. A good question.
No need to control at all.
But no need to control whom?
Those who are responsible.
Those who have the ability to respond.
To each situation and repercussion accordingly.
The innocent ignorant children
Cannot be given the freedom
Of handling the poison bottle or knife
Anywhere anytime.
******
Freedom only
To those who have gained maturity,
Hence are responsible.
Not to the adolescents fully.
True, no need to control
Those who take the responsibility.
Responsibility means
One’s ability to respond.
The biggest sign and proof
Of life or being alive.
*******
In the age of adolescence,
Children happen to respond
Only to their own wants,
Feelings, pressures and aspects,
Which are mostly driven only
By the very new hormonal change.
In this age,
They won’t, if not controlled, respond
To the wants and requirements
Of the surroundings, of the external.
They happen, for their fault or for their no fault,
To disregard all others.
*******
Hence, adolescent children are
Otherwise and other way round.
They want freedom to fly like a kite in the sky,
Seeking further height and space.
In the meantime they will behave irresponsible.
They would try even to cut the thread
And their connection with the same finger
That has got hold of them
And reached them there
In the very spacious high sky.
******
Adolescent children,
In this new phase of their life,
Mostly don't realise that
It is the same thread
And it is the same finger,
Behind and below,
That has caused them to be in the skies.
Especially boys in this stage.
In this particular phase,
Children will behave like monkeys.
Daring and jumping to
Whatever and wherever they feel like
And, in it, being stubborn
The same way the monkeys are.
Especially,
If the adolescent children happen
To be in a group or their group.
While in the group
They may do anything and everything.
Like the dust in the wind,
They go in and with the group.
Alone they will be cowards.
In the group they will be
The most courageous and exploding ones.
********
Dear Pushkala and Sangeetha.
Well said by both of you and Hafis.
Thank you for all your concerns.
No doubt. You are all good parents.
I did not try to say or state
Anything about the adolescence
As a blame or as part of a blame game.
Especially the children, our children.
It is for the children
The whole world is
As these same children are
The future world.
Rather, I was trying to discuss,
How and why they become exploding
In this phase of human life
And how difficult it is to handle them
In this phase of their life, balancing.
For reasons many.
But unknown to them at this point of life/time.
Mostly to a very big portion of parents too.
Children happen to be adapting and adjusting
By the grace of nature,
Life’s magic.
(Dear Friends,
As for few, anything I say will be wrong
And will be outright negated.
For whatever reason.
It is and it has become like that through out.
Mostly because of their islamic belief system,
For its intolerant and extreme part.
And because I happen to expose it here and there
And they could not successfully oppose
Whatever I happen to say or establish.
So, they have made up their mind already.
Whatever that comes from me should be
And has to be wrong or depicted as wrong,
Hence negated.
I should be (for many others like them)
Personally attacked
Than with ideological stand or on subject.
Because, as for them, I am an anti-islam.
They don’t mind whether I talk truth
Or talk real and selfless spirituality
Of real God and truth.
Friendship and life is less important
And, for them,
It comes only after the protection of
Their belief system.
And that is what they are proving through out to be.
But, despite all the above, they are
My best friends ever.
Their playfulness and sportfulness
Are really to appreciated.
******
Dear all..…
I did not say or state anything
As a blame or as part of
A blame game against adolescents.
I don’t have anything to gain or propagate that way.
Rather I was stating the fact.
Something everyone can easily understand.
Something everyone has to watch and beware of.
*******
Dear Friends, as a matter of fact,
Till adolescence, our children had
Only one window to look at the world.
The window of their parents.
They saw the world
Their parents showed them.
They walked and tried to walk
On the footings of their parents
And the society they lived in.
They shared each and everything with their parents
Before this phase started.
Their beliefs were the beliefs of the parents.
They made sure that they are and were
With their parents in every respect.
Though they did not know what the meaning
Of “man” and “woman” is.
They could not know what the gender difference was for.
******
Dear Friends,
With the adolescence entering into life
The children get hundreds of windows opened together.
They almost stop sharing everything with their parents,
And almost they close the very window of their parents.
******
Certain parents may not be aware of this.
Children in this age group look through all the windows,
Except the window of their parents.
Almost they close that particular window called parents.
They happen to have certain things and areas
That they won’t or are unable to share
With their parents, but only with the friends.
Hence, a kind of hide and seek.
Their friends and fancies become their Gods,
Than their parents in this new phase of their life.
They happen to have
Certain things as private and secret.
They would get to be in direct fight
With their hormonal changes
And the changes that hormones make in them.
They get courage and confidence
Only when they are in the group of their friends.
*****
Dear friends,
It is not their blame.
And it is not intentional too.
But it happens
As if it is intentional.
Most of the parents are unable
To acknowledge or understand this
And are unable to adapt and adjust
With this situation
That their children undergo in this phase.
Either they deny or they ignore
The very features of their children
In this particular phase.
********
Adolescence is the phase of life,
Wherein children have really to work hard
To shape their future.
It is herein the preparation for
Their future career life done.
This is the junction,
From where life divert to its destination.
Here is the preparation for the future
Has to take place here.
Whichever children can really work hard
In this particular phase of their life,
though very unlikely,
For sure they will make
Their future life almost successful.
******
But most of the children are unable,
And in this phase,
They become their own enemy.
Once they become their own enemy
They cannot complaint about
Or fight against the enemy.
Rather, their happens to be with them
Even in their bedroom and bathroom.
They happen to sit against themselves.
Unless there is external compulsion and control,
Which mostly they don’t like too.
They are very much happy with their enemy,
The destroyer, in this phase.
So, they are under pressure.
Pressure from inside and outside.
They have all the pressures and tendencies
To go wayward after the feels and pressures
That the hormonal changes give them, or
They they happen to face in this phase.
Hence, adolescent children really become
And happen to be exploding.
In this explosion
they take their parents as their big enemies
And their friends as Gods.
Sometimes silently and sometimes openly they explode .
In the way of developing a kind of depression in this stage.
Abstaining and secluding themselves away from all.
One who can observe can really understand this.
Most of the children somehow adapt and adjust.
As part of a magic and wonders
Life does for itself.
As part of life's continuance and flow.
Some really fail by themselves
Or by those who are supposed to take care of them.
Mostly, because of helplessness and no other choice.
******
I did not write this because
I have any problems or fight with my own children.
My children also are of the same adolescence phase.
They are also undergoing the same pressures and pretensions.
Pretension means for them
Tension taken prior to action
And pressure mean all the pre action made
To make their other things are sure for them.
But I can see and feel this
In and with all the children all around too.
Whether we don’t see or ignore
It is different matter
And it is only a matter of
Choice or blindness only.
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