Polygamy, Islam, and Dr. Aisha’s Struggle:

Polygamy, Islam, and Dr. Aisha’s Struggle:

Islam does not grant women permission for polyandry (multiple husbands), the way it permits men polygamy (multiple wives).

Why doesn’t Islam allow women polyandry?

Why did Islam give men the possibility of polygamy in marriage — a permission not given to women?

These questions may sound very innocent and logical at first hearing.

But the questions are not so innocent, nor so logical.

The first thing to understand is something else entirely.

Islam is not merely a religion of rituals, beliefs, and worship; rather it is a complete way of life that touches every single sphere of existence, giving guidance and rules in every domain — it is a comprehensive social welfare ideology.

This is also why Islam addresses, precisely and clearly, areas that many religions don’t touch directly — such as polygamy, divorce, adultery, and the prohibition of alcohol and interest.

Polygamy is something that naturally sustains itself among human beings.

Polyandry, however, is something that indisputably cannot sustain itself on its own.

This fact is concealed within the question.

No woman, by her very nature, can practically carry out polyandry.

Women and men are fundamentally different in this respect. Men, whose sexuality operates at a more surface level, are built in a way that allows them to “scatter” widely at that surface level.

In truth, even men have little real control over this urge.

If women were permitted polyandry, the paternity of children would become uncertain — paternity could not be confirmed. This is a very simple fact.

This should not be approached using the recently available DNA test, which cannot always be practically carried out as intended.

Unlike men, who can “sow seed” abundantly at any time, a woman ovulates only once a month.

A woman can, at most, conceive once a year; and once pregnant or having given birth, she is naturally left vulnerable in many ways. A woman’s situation is entirely different.

For this reason too, a woman deserves to be protected in a distinct way.

This is also why — so that a man cannot simply “sow and run” — the Qur’an firmly established that the responsibility of guardianship and financial maintenance falls upon the man.

“Men are the maintainers/guardians of women, because… Allah has given some preference over others, and because they spend [of their wealth].” (Qur’an)

The responsibility to spend/maintain: although this has gradually come to be seen as a man’s duty worldwide, it was the Qur’an — Islam alone — that mandated and legislated it as a scripture.

Marriage is not something a man does for himself, or a process of a man “tying down” or “acquiring” a woman.

Marriage is something society had to create for the sake of women, to bind the man.

Marriage does not exist so a man can bind and confine a woman. A woman becomes bound through pregnancy on her own.

Marriage exists, in part, to prevent a man from escaping and abandoning a woman who has become bound through pregnancy.

Marriage is the social institution that binds a man — who might otherwise “sow his seed” and escape without taking responsibility for the woman and the children who may result — for the sake of the woman and the child.

This is why, in every country and society, then and now, it is the man who bears the responsibility of financially protecting the woman and child.

In no society or country does a woman bear a legal responsibility to financially support a man or children.

Exceptions where some women choose to do so, or are forced into it by helplessness, are not the standard and should not be generalized.

Furthermore, war and the travel required for work and livelihood are two burdens that fall upon men’s shoulders.

Because men who go to war or travel face higher rates of untimely death, many women become widows and children become orphaned and abandoned.

This is part of the historical and social background that made polygamy a necessity and a permission.

Polygamy exists partly to address this and to bring justice in that regard.

The permission for polygamy also ensures that no child or mother is left without protection.

If one moves away from the narrow, purely physical view of polygamy as merely an arrangement for gratification, and instead understands it as a process of protection and cooperation, the matter takes on a different face.

We should judge such rulings — on this and every other subject — not based on exceptions, but based on general circumstances that hold across all times.

At the same time, it must be understood that Islam is a comprehensive way of life that not only clearly prohibits relationships outside marriage (i.e., adultery) but also prescribes severe punishment for it.

This is because Islam understands free human nature: this should be read alongside the fact that Islam clearly permits remarriage for both men and women after divorce, or after the death of a spouse.

Regarding Dr. Aisha’s case — 100% in support of Aisha.

If the facts are exactly as reported, then what that husband did has nothing to do with Shariah or Islam.

However, this judgment is made with the admission that the full matter is not known, and not all sides of the story have been heard.

In other words, this only says that the Shariah — Islam — as wrongly practiced and wrongly presented by some, is not actually like this.

The only Shariah ruling is: if justice cannot be maintained in polygamy, then only one wife is permitted.

There is no Shariah, no Islam, no Qur’an that permits favoring only one among multiple wives.

There is no Shariah, Islam, or Qur’an that permits marrying two or three wives just for the sake of it.

The only polygamy Islam and Shariah permit is one allowed solely for the sake of justice, only if justice requires it, and only on the condition of justice.

The very Qur’anic verse that permits polygamy begins with the condition: “If you fear that you will not be able to deal justly with the orphans…”

Given this, polygamy that results in denial of justice is not Islamic; it is not Shariah.

If a society fails to properly implement a law, what should be questioned is not the law itself, nor the logic behind the law —

what should be questioned is the society that misuses the law and finds excuses in it to escape accountability.

Polygamy is one solution among many. It is also necessary to prevent the misuse of this solution in a way that turns the solution itself into a problem. If someone wears on their head a sandal meant for the foot, that is not a problem created by the sandal as a solution — it is a problem created by the person who wrongly placed the sandal on their head.